fredag 10. oktober 2014

10102014 - Emilie Nicholas "Like I'm a Warrior"

This album is #1 on the Norwegian album charts this week, so reluctantly I put it on. And as soon as this three year old girl starts to sing I know I'm gonna hate it. Seriously, what IS the deal with her English pronounciation? And why does she keep singing her own name? "Nobody told me/Emilie Emilie Emilie…" WHAT! Nobody told you to STFU? Well, please allow me to introduce myself… The second song is called "Let You Out", and I swear to god she sings "Willie you ow/Willie you innagai" like a fucking consonant would kill her! And there's the overuse of "quirky" sounds and cut'n'paste beats stolen from Anja Garbarek and borrowed from Björk, that serve as distractions so that people might be all Amelie'd into thinking this is cute and charming instead of noticing that the Emperor has no clothes and no proper songs either. I'm sure this sounds great through an expensive stereo, but tell me one good reason why this tops the charts while Karin Park - who also has a kind of cutesy vocal delivery, but who writes actual tunes, and great ones at that - is criminally ignored by the mainstream audience? Number one? Sorry record buyers (or, more likely, song streamers) and album reviewers alike, history will prove you WRONG!

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